Brightside Biography: I See Ghosts
My mom died over three years ago, but just because she isn’t alive doesn’t mean I haven’t heard from her. I haven’t seen her floating through my bedroom (holy shit, thank god), but I have heard from her in other ways. I’ve asked her questions and she’s answered, albeit in her own way. Lest you think I’m crazy, a Harris poll from 2013 states that 42% of Americans believe in ghosts. And who wouldn’t want to believe? There is great comfort in believing that your loved ones are still there, just slightly out of reach.
But, science tells us that ghosts don’t exist. They just can’t be proven. Until we can isolate a ghost in a controlled setting and subject it to testing, well, we’re not going to get anywhere. (Side note: there IS a paranormal lab at the University of Virginia!). There have been all sorts of explanations as to what “ghosts” are, like electromagnetic fields, dust and even carbon monoxide poisoning (your house isn’t haunted, you’re being gassed!!).
However, I think that when you see a ghost once, that’s all the proof you need.
This is where I introduce Kelly Rae. She and I become friends a little over a year ago when we bonded over ghosts. We both very much believe in the spirit world and I love being able to talk about these things with someone who gets it. And she’s funny. She takes it all seriously, but she can laugh at herself (or maybe she just tolerates me laughing at her–you should see those crow pics she sends me!). Even though I have experienced a couple of strange things in my life, I’ve got nothing on her.
YATB: When was the first time you encountered a ghost? What was the experience like?
Kelly Rae: I can’t remember a time when I didn’t see ghosts as a child. They were always there. I can remember looking up in my crib and seeing an old woman. She was with me for most of my childhood. She was really scary. It was terrifying. I would see lots of ghost animals. Cute and terrifying. As I got older, into my teens, I quit seeing so many things and began hearing more things. By my early 20’s, it was literally ruining my life. It was a part of everyday. It wasn’t cool. I didn’t like it. I finally had to have a sit down with my spirit guides and told them that I couldn’t handle anymore. That I needed to turn off whatever “it” was and leave me the hell alone. The funny thing is now I love all of my spirit animals. I work a lot with deer, crows and dolphins.
YATB: Did you “know” any of them? Had any of them been deceased relatives, etc.?
Kelly Rae: Both of my grandmothers would come and visit through my teens and my maternal grandmother still comes and visits. I have a few south American ancestors that come to me. Two are guides. Both have been with me a very long time, many life times. One of them is my father. We have had a number of lives together. Which has been very good and very hard. When he left this world, we were on very bad terms. He didn’t realize
that he had passed. And he was very confused by why I was so very upset. He hadn’t remembered what had happened the last years of his life. He had undiagnosed dementia, and it took about 2 years after his death for him to come to terms with it. I was so very angry with him, with my family that was around him in those last years and with myself. He would just be around and I would be fuming. He would try to comfort, but I was not ready in the least. He had a lot of anger in life and in his passing. He passed December 20, 2015, and his birthday is 2 days before mine in September. So basically, September through the new year is really tough. But I did the best I have done this past December since his passing. Still really tough days. Days where I was so very angry with him.
YATB: Have you had any spirits follow you from one home to another? Were you scared that they were going to attach themselves to you?
Kelly Rae: When I was 20, I moved into a house in Brooklyn with a girl that I had met in audio engineering school, Layla. I was so excited. I had just broken up with my boyfriend, I was about to turn 21, and things were looking up! This was the late 90’s. When we first moved in, everything was fine. But that quickly changed. We started getting woken up in the night by loud bangs. Crashes, energy would be moving all over the room. Really terrifying stuff. Our bedrooms were next to each other, I could hear everything that was going on in her room and vice versa. I got up early one morning to use the bathroom. Got back into bed and could here movement in her room. Like she was pitter-pattering around. Layla had a very small bedroom and her bed was elevated on a platform. So I am hearing these footsteps in her room and wondering what she was doing in there. It was really early. Then I hear them coming out of her room. At this point I was so confused by all the ruckus and so was my dog. His ears were all up and he was smelling the air. He was very bothered by something. Then the footsteps were right outside my door. The dog got up to check out what was going on. Then I realized that the footsteps didn’t have any weight to them. Then that scared me. Now the steps were inside my room. I called my dog back to me. He was scared as well. Then the steps were on the other side of the room. It was so terrifying that I passed out so hard. When I woke up a few hours later, I had forgotten what had happened. I went about my morning. Layla and I went to the diner that we went to everyday and half way through breakfast she says to me, “you know Kelly, I thought you were under my bed this morning.” And it all came flooding back to me! I told her everything that had happened and we were really starting to put the story together. For the next few months, crazy things would happened. I mean CRAZY. I was working in a restaurant, this was before cell phones. There was a pay phone where staff would get phone calls on. Layla called me one night and she was so upset. She told me that something crazy was going on in my bedroom. And that she was going to her boyfriend’s house. So I had to go home alone to the house! Shortly after that, the house burnt down. Another early morning rude awakening. That ghost followed me to my next apartment. Same kind of stuff was happening. It followed me to work. I can remember very vividly being touched and pushed by it until I finally got rid of it with confrontation and told my guides that I couldn’t handle this anymore.
YATB: If you lived with other people when you experienced these ghosts, did they see them/encounter them also?
Kelly Rae: I lived in that apartment for 10 years and all of my roommates had experiences there. After my big confrontation, most of my interaction was through dreams or when I would be waking or going to sleep.
YATB: What was your scariest encounter living in a home that was haunted?
Kelly Rae: Living in the apartment on Grand St in Brooklyn that burnt down was by far the most hostile energy I had come across until after my father’s passing.
YATB: Did you ever do any research on any of these homes to see WHY they were haunted?
Kelly Rae: I started asking the neighbors if the previous tenants had had any encounters or ever talked about ghosts and they said no. When we moved in, we painted, and really did a lot of things to make it our home. So I think we might have stirred something up. It was a super creepy rundown building.
YATB: When you moved into any of these homes, how long did it take for you to know that their was another presence living there?
Kelly Rae: Pretty quickly.
YATB: Were any of the spirits friendly?
Kelly Rae: I come across friendly spirits now. But that might also be because I am no longer afraid of them. I have done so much growing and nothing scares me anymore. I don’t go out looking for negative spirits but I am very confident in my abilities to handle things if I needed to. The best encounter was of my cat Burritos who stayed with me for awhile after her passing. I loved that cat with every fiber of my being.
YATB: Were you successful in getting rid of any of them? If so, how? If not, what did you do? Move out?
Kelly Rae: I really never tried to get rid of anything. But at this point, I enjoy having friendly spirits around. I have a lot of angels, guides, and animal spirits around me. I have finally accepted this is who I am. It’s so freeing. Anything that is indifferent or even slightly negative gets removed.
I use reiki, angels, ascended masters, ancestors, sage, palo santo and my own will to remove unwanted energy. I am constantly doing it as well. All throughout the day. To my house, anywhere I am, my own energetic body. Constantly clearing my chakras. Constantly taking moments to meditate. Even if it’s just a minute. I love my oracle cards. I rarely make a decision without them. Because if I don’t, anxiety sets in, I get frustrated easily, I lose my patience and I believe outside influences can have greater impact on me. So if I am going into someone’s house to clear energy, I am rolling with a posse! I am grounded, fully prepared. I saw some pretty scary dark things in 2018. But I also saw some really cool energy as well.
Being an empath, I want to fix everyone right now. Help everyone right now. I have had to learn how to set boundaries which is definitely not my strong suit. Especially after being a birth worker for 8 years and now an energy worker, I have to take care of myself. Constantly clearing my energy. Removing what is not mine and calling back the pieces of me that I give away.
YATB: Do you think it takes a special kind of person to “attract” spirits?
Kelly Rae: I think everyone has the ability. Some stronger than others. Some can tap into it easier. Some people turn it off from a very young age. I am just really stepping back into it again but from a very different place. Spirituality is such a huge part of my life. I am coming from a place of peace and love. Not fear or curiosity.
YATB: Has your belief in the afterlife changed after experiencing these things?
Kelly Rae: For most of my life, especially teens and up until my father passed, I was an atheist. I grew up with a mother who was southern Baptist and a father who was Catholic. This combination ruined me for organized religion. So being an atheist and being able to experience ghosts didn’t make any sense. But these things don’t make sense. I would literally see something move across the room or I would hear a voice and tell myself that I hadn’t just experienced that. But I was. Now that I am older and I have a really good sense of self, it’s all very normal. It’s freeing. Liberating. It’s not scary anymore.
YTAB: Why do some people come back (or never leave) as ghosts?
Kelly Rae: Like with the instance of my father, he didn’t know he was dead. We, Nadine Dassier (my energy healer and medium) and I, literally had to go through what happened for him to believe. Nadine is an amazing, beautiful, enchanted forest creature and together, we sent him into the light. It was really insane. Really it was all Nadine. I was just a crying mess. I think some people stay where they are comfortable. Some spirits need to be in a certain place for a certain period of time before moving on. Some come to visit loved ones in times of need. To look after loved ones. They like to visit.
YATB: Have you ever held a seance where you tried to contact the spirit of a specific person?
Kelly Rae: Oh no way. But I have done a lot of work with my father after his passing. We have both needed it. I have had too many really bad experiences with negative spirits to do anything like that.
YATB: What are shadow people (besides being freaking terrifying)? What, if any, is the difference between a ghost and a shadow person?
Kelly Rae: There are a lot of theories out there on what shadow people are. The general consensus is that they are very very negative. And I agree. Shadow people were never human. Ghosts, in the most simplest of terms are people, animals or plants who have lived at least one life here. Then you have poltergeists. Energy that was created by humans that take on their own form and grow. They are able to move things, some are bad, some are mischievous. Then there are all sorts of other beings, angels, fairies, and more heavenly beings. I have personally had a few encounters with shadow people. Or if they weren’t shadow people, they were really negative.
Most recently, in the year after my father death. They would attack me in life and in my dreams, scare the shit out of me throughout the day. Enter my body which was so incredibly painful. I don’t even know how to explain it. Really terrifying. And all of this is why I got into energy work and started seeing a healer, Nadine Dassier. I was in a terrible state. Their influence was so bad, I was so sad, so angry, so destructive, so out of my mind, that I understood how someone could take their own life. Once I realized that, I knew I needed to get help, tools to deal with these sorts of situations and begin healing. It was a really long and hard road and it is ever-changing. The last time that I had an encounter with a really negative energy, ghost, demon, that was in my own house, It was right after a surgery earlier this year. He woke me up, he was standing on top of me. As I turned my head to look up, he turned towards me to look down. I was not scared, even in the least. I said, you know, “You don’t belong here.” My angels came rushing in and he was gone. A few “dark people’ popped by a few months ago but they know they can’t stay. Just moving around my room. As soon as they realized I knew they were here, they took off.
YATB: Do you feel like it has been a burden or a blessing to be able to see these things?
Kelly Rae: Most of my life, it was a burden. Now I am settled into it and so comfortable with it, I want to get better at channeling. This work is so fascinating.
YATB: Have you had people call you “crazy” for seeing these things? If so, what is your response?
Kelly Rae: I am called crazy all the time. It has been hard from time to time. Many don’t understand. And that is fine. But it sucks to have to keep something that is such a huge part of who you are a secret. I talk more openly about things now but I am still very cautious.
YATB: Why do you think you are able to experience these things and others are not? Do you feel like you were “chosen” for some reason?
Kelly Rae: When I was younger, I think other people thought it was cool and that I was a chosen one. I did not feel that way. I just wanted to be left alone. I believe that I am more in tuned with other dimensions and these things because I have had many lifetimes as a healer. And things come to me from those lifetimes to help me and those I serve, when needed.
If you want more information about reiki and other services that Kelly Rae offers, her website is twincitiesreiki.com.
What about you? I want to hear YOUR stories about ghosts, spirits and shadow people. How have they affected your life?